Saturday, November 13, 2010

Conan the Barbarian

Is this is a work of fiction.?

My name is Sandal Burgman and I played Valeria in the movie Conan the Barbarian with my co-star, Arnald Schwarzvenegger.  We used to just call him Arn on the set.  The first day we started shooting I knew that trouble was just waiting to happen.  The first time he saw me, Arn looked me up and down like a piece of meat and wouldn’t stop staring at my breasts.  All this right in front of my boyfriend, who was working on the camera crew.  It started out not so bad, Arn just pinched my butt a few times and once he tried to pinch my boobs, too, but I moved out of the way in time.  The director told me that Arn was a big star and that they couldn’t afford to piss him off, and not to make any trouble, so I had to put up with his constant harassment and keep my mouth shut.  He did it to several other women on the set, too, but he especially liked me.  “You’re just my type,” he said to me, “A tall, blonde, strong Valkyrie wench!”  He kept trying to get me to leave my boyfriend for him, but at that time I still loved my ex-boyfriend and politely but firmly turned him down.  Anyway, I was going to make a lot of money from this movie, it was a major part in a major Hollywood movie, and it was only a few more months of shooting, and after I had become a big star because of this movie, I’d never have to work with assholes like Arn again, or at least not have to put up with that kind of behavior once I was a big star, too.  Getting my ass pinched wasn’t so bad, I could put up with minor behavior like that.  But then the behavior escalated.
I realized too late, halfway through the shooting, that a sex scene was in the script.  When I realized to my horror that I would have to crawl over Arn’s naked body, myself naked too, on camera in front of the entire crew (my boyfriend!), his odious skin rubbing against mine, and all the while I had to pretend that I was enjoying it, smiling and kissing him and moaning in ecstacy…..I almost walked off the set.  “Find yourself another actress!”  But I steeled myself to the challenge.  It was only one scene.  One scene that Arn insisted on shooting and reshooting 47 times.  He didn’t make that request for any other scene in the movie.  It was obvious why he kept wanting to repeat that scene over and over.  Every day for a week I had to endure his pawing…..he once kept pawing my breasts for nearly 5 minutes before the director yelled, “Cut!  Arn, you’re only supposed to paw her boobs for a few seconds!”  And he had a constant hard-on.  He kept rubbing it against my body, through his underpants, and I swear I think that one time he came.  All this on camera in front of everybody.  It was so embarrassing.  That pig.  Finally, the director grew frustrated and told Arn that it had to stop, they were wasting enough film and time already.  Arn reluctantly agreed.
I thought that it might be over after that, but Arn’s harassment grew even worse.  He thought that just because we’d faked making love onscreen, we could make love offscreen.  “Conan gave it to you good,” he said to me, “Let me be your Conan tonight.”  “NO!” I said, but he wouldn’t listen.  Once, I was bending over a little to take a drink from a water fountain, and he crept up from behind me and wrapped his arms around my torso, while rubbing his stiff cock against my ass.  He was wearing speedos and I was wearing these light hotpants, so it was pretty close to being flesh rubbing against flesh.  I yelled and some other people heard me and started coming, so Arn quickly stopped before they could see him.  He disappeared into the bathroom and when he came out five minutes later he seemed a lot, lots more….relaxed.
One day I was entering my dressing room and I found Arn there, waiting for me.  I don’t know how he got in.  He slammed the door shut before I could leave and grabbed me in his arms and kissed me, hard.  He licked his tongue across my breasts and I screamed.  Another member of the crew heard and came running and opened the door.  I was crying and Arn said, “We’re just rehearsing a scene.  Who told you you could interrupt while we’re acting?” Arn pretended to get angry at the guy and told him, “This is a small town.  You ever tell this to anybody, you have no job!”
That was it.  I had to take some time off from this insanity.  I told the director I needed a few days off, so they killed my character Valeria off in the script and the director said, “You want time off?  Fine!  I just killed off your character!”  The next day the entire crew had the day off and me and my boyfriend decided to go to the beach.  A remote spot where no other people were around, where we could lose ourselves and even make love on the beach without being seen, a little isolated place.  I was so excited.  I picked out my skimpiest, sexiest white bikini and when we got there, we laid our towels out on the beach and started rubbing suntan lotion all over each other’s bodies.  Giggling.  Barely able to control ourselves.  We kissed passionately and I was just about to strip off my bikini and lie with my boyfriend on the soft towels in the warm sun.
But Arn had followed our car.
“Get out of the way, Ted,” he menacingly warned my boyfriend.  He was in his black speedos, his little hard-on bulging.  It’s not like Arn’s cock was little, it was average sized, it just looked small in proportion to the rest of his massive body.
“This is a private beach,” Ted replied angrily.
“I said.  Get out.  Of the way.” Arn repeated.
“No,” said Ted, but Arn kept approaching toward us, and grabbed me from around the waist, trying to pull me away.  “Hey!” Ted yelled and hit Arn from behind the back, as hard as his fists could.  But Ted was just an ordinary guy in strength.  His blows were like a gnat against an elephant.  “Hhhruh!” Arn growled, turned around and threw a punch at Ted’s jaw.  Ted literally flew back into the sand and collapsed unconscious.  I gasped and Arn said, “You got yourself a real man now, not that wimp of a boyfriend.  I’m going to show you a real man’s loving, wench!”
And he did.  He picked me up in his arms and carried me farther off down the dunes, behind some trees were there was some soft grass not sand, and removed my bikini.  He came in about 2 minutes.  I sighed in relief, at least now it’s over.  But he kept pawing my body, licking me all over.  Arn was only warming up.  10 minutes later, his cock was back inside of me, and he throbbed on and on and on and on for what seemed like hours.  I don’t know when, but at some point I consciously decided to give in and try to dig it.  Now of course I couldn’t help but notice how incredible Arn’s body was – strong, built like a warrior steed, pure muscle and sinew, much better than my soft boy boyfriend.  He kept pumping on for what seemed like hours, a lot longer than my boyfriend had ever given it to me, and I came five times.  My boyfriend was lucky if he could give me just one orgasm, often not even that.  After he finished, I smiled and stroked his hair and smooched with him a little more, and we held each other, lightly napping, stroking each other tenderly.
It was about then that the cops arrived.  “There he is!” I heard my boyfriend shout.  “The man who raped my girlfriend!”  The cops noticed that we were naked and didn’t immediately put the cuffs on Arn, but let us get dress while they turned their heads away.
“What rape?” I said.  To this day I still don’t know why that came out just right then.  Maybe I actually believed it in the heat of the moment.  I was still glowing post-orgasmically, a pink flush covering my entire body, I was totally relaxed and totally high.  I felt so good after what Arn did to me.  I was half in love with him just right then and didn’t want to see him get taken to jail.  So I protected him.  I told the cops what happened….sort of….leaving out a few details.  I told them that my boyfriend hit Arn in the back while Arn was kissing me, and Arn struck back in self-defense.  Arn confirmed that story and it was two against one, so the cops didn’t lift a finger against Arn.  My boyfriend just stood there, bewildered.  “All’s fair in love and war,” said Arn, sneering, “And you lost.  She’s my woman now.”
“You’re not going back with him?” Ted pleaded with me.
“Yes, I am,” I haughtily replied, and walked off with Arn to Arn’s car.  “Oh, and by the way,” I cruelly taunted back at Ted, “He’s a better lover than you could ever hope to be.  Do you even begin to realize how many times I faked it with you?”
Ted was devastated.  Looking back, I should have stayed with Ted, not Arn.  Ted was a nice guy and would have been loyal.  Ted loved me, for real, and would have followed me to the ends of the earth.  Arn and I had a few good times after that day, but a few months later Arn moved on.  It was as if Arn was more into the thrill of the chase and once he’d captured me, he quickly lost interest.  He broke my heart at the time, but looking back, he was a real asshole and I couldn’t believe that I stayed with him.  I tried getting back with Ted but every time I tried picking up the phone to call him, I set the phone down again.  I couldn’t bear to face him again, the guilt and the shame.  I betrayed the nicest guy in the world.
        I haven’t seen Arn in years, except in the movies and on TV.  I heard lots of stories about him.  He was still a horny wildcat from the rumors, always going around grabbing tits and asses and forcing his sex against lots of actresses and female film crew.  It’s a wonder he got away with it for so many years, but hey, he’s The Arn.

1 comment:

Scoop said...

this is the coolest story i ever read.